The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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