I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
