Duck Duck Cougar?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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