thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
