guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
