a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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