this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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