what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I currently don't understand fingers.
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