As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
