bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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