This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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