i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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