Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize