I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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