I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize