well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
