were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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