my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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