are you so shy because you have an std?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
