a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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