and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
