Whod you bang
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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