If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
