yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
