we're blogging at a bar
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
