is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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