im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
