Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
