i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
