It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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