I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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