id be glad to
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
