the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
