You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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