one might say we're banned from that church
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
