Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
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He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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