I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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