I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
