I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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