I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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