i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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