Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
