okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
