Kiss
Puke
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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