Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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