How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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