I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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