We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
