My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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