Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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