It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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