I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
