going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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