Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
