Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
