Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
