I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
