I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
