that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
