I hope mine doesn't look like that
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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