If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
