Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
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but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
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They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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